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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend assisting her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with another. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an viewers. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the details, posting them with an audience that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my way of offering access, providing her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we create together can achieve: an opening. I understand not all people enjoys being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but friends help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a short video now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She needs to honor Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some authentic memories, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their bond?